Your Therapy Journey

Individuals

If you are attending as an individual, we start therapy with Sexual Life Story Interviewing.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing is an intervention I started developing during my research studies at Cambridge University. It's a process of comprehensive and in-depth exploration of your entire intimate, sexual and relational life through semi-structured interviewing.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing can be an informative and educational intervention. It helps us develop, collaboratively, a tailored treatment plan for you, while also being therapeutic because of its 'sense-making' and 'releasing and validating' nature.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing serves two primary purposes:

history taking and sense-making (who am I, sexually and relationally? why do I/we have this issue/problem? why do I/we keep having this issue/problem? what do I really want in my life, sexually and relationally?)
psycho-education (challenging unhelpful sexual beliefs and conceptions)

Sexual Life Story Interviewing usually takes between 2 to 4 sessions, depending on how much there is to discuss.

At the end of the Sexual Life Story Interviewing process, we review the finding and discuss the following:

predisposing factors (factors that made you vulnerable to developing the problem),
precipitating factors (factors which led to the problem occurring at the time it did), and
maintaining factors (factors leading to the problem or circumstance persisting).

We then agree on a treatment plan tailored to your therapy goals. Occasionally at this stage of therapy, I recommend other forms of clinical intervention if particular unresolved issues arise during the history-taking process.

Therapy then continues, and we see each other regularly, ideally once a week.

Therapy does not just happen in the therapy session. Therapy is a continuous process, and should be 'alive' between the therapy sessions. The outcome of therapy depends largely on your commitment to, and compliance with, the 'in-session' and 'out-of-session' work.

In-session work (what we do in the session):

I listen; ask you questions; make observations; introduce new ideas, suggest possible links and different interpretation.
You listen; reflect; make observations; make new meaning and suggest possible links; contemplate new ideas, and develop new strategies and solutions.

Out-of-session work (what you do between the sessions):

Each session, we collaboratively develop out-of-session assignments (homework) for you to carry out. Homework assignments are used to rehearse new skills, practice new strategies, restructure unhelpful beliefs, and develop new insights, ideas and solutions. We discuss the previous session's 'homework' at the beginning of every session and check what did and didn't work for you. We regularly review your progress.

Ending:

Therapy ends once you feel you have made significant progress and feel confident you can continue the journey without me via using the tools and techniques learnt in therapy.

Couples

If you are attending as a couple, therapy begins with Individual Work, followed by Couple Work.

IMPORTANT:

If you are attending as a couple, please note each individual is treated as a client. I recognise the autonomy of each individual client and don't privilege the 'couple' or the 'relationship' as my client. Basically, 'your relationship' is not my client; YOU are!

When I work with couples, I always carefully consider individual autonomy, confidentiality, and safety. For example, if you tell me you don't want your partner to know something you've shared with me in an individual session, it will always be respected. Or if one of you contacts me requesting an individual session, it would always be agreed.

Individual Work

Individual Work begins with Sexual Life Story Interviewing.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing serves two primary purposes:

history taking and sense-making (who am I, sexually and relationally? why do I/we have this issue/problem? why do I/we keep having this issue/problem? what do I really want in my life, sexually and relationally?)
psycho-education (challenging unhelpful sexual beliefs and conceptions)

Sexual Life Story Interviewing usually takes between 2 to 4 sessions, depending on how much there is to discuss.

Couple work

In your first Couple Work session, we review the findings of Individual Work sessions. We discuss the following:

predisposing factors (factors that made you vulnerable to developing the problem),
precipitating factors (factors which led to the problem occurring at the time it did), and
maintaining factors (factors leading to the problem or circumstance persisting).

Therapy then continues, and we see each other regularly, ideally once a week.

In-session work (what we do in the session):

I listen; ask you questions; make observations; introduce new ideas, suggest possible links and different interpretation.
You listen; reflect; make observations; make new meaning and suggest possible links; contemplate new ideas, and develop new strategies and solutions.

Out-of-session work (what you do between the sessions):

If necessary, we may schedule Individual Work sessions from time to time to check things and work on issues that need to be dealt with individually.

Ending:

Therapy ends once you feel you have made significant progress and feel confident you can continue the journey without me via using the tools and techniques learnt in therapy.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing

Talking about sex is not an easy task for many people. Yet, throughout the years, I have found that many of us do want to share stories about our sex lives with others, provided that we feel we are listened to non-judgmentally and with compassion.

Constructing and internalising our sexual life stories can provide us with some answers to critical sexual identity questions:

Who am I sexually?
How did I come to be the person I am?
Where is my sex life going?

One of the tools I usually use in sex and relationship therapy is Sexual Life Story Interviewing – an intervention I started developing during my research studies at Cambridge University. Sexual Life Story Interviewing is a process of comprehensive and in-depth exploration of one's entire intimate, sexual and relational life through semi-structured interviewing.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing can be an informative and educational experience, as well as a therapeutic intervention. When used in therapy, it helps the therapist and the client develop, collaboratively, a tailored treatment plan for the client, while also being therapeutic in its own right because of its 'sense-making' and 'releasing and validating' nature.

Some of the positive impacts of Sexual Life Story Interviewing:

Sexual Life Story Interviewing can be positive and enriching experiences in which new insights into your sex life can be obtained.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing can organise or make sense of your entire sex life, providing you with a sense of unity and purpose.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing can help you gain valuable insights into the personal, interpersonal, familial and sociocultural aspects of your life, which brings greater meaning to your sex life.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing can help you obtain greater self-knowledge, healthier self-image, and enhanced self-esteem.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing can be a way of purging, or releasing, certain burdens and validating personal experiences that is central to the recovery process and reaching inner peace.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing can help you see your sex life more clearly or differently, and inspire you to change or modify some aspects of your sex life.

And finally, Sexual Life Story Interviewing can help you gain a better sense of how you want your story to end, or how you can give yourself the 'good ending' you want. By understanding your past and present, you drive a clearer perspective in your goals for the future and make more educated and informed decisions.

It is important to note that not everyone will experience constructing and sharing sexual life stories in the same way. Some people may look back on certain parts of their sexual lives with regret, shame, resentment and frustration. For some, this process can even be painful and traumatic.

Sexual Life Story Interviewing often takes two sessions, sometimes more, depending on how much there is to discuss.

Sex Therapy – Online

Dr Ali Taba – Senior Accredited Specialist in Sex and Relationship Therapy

Individuals

Couples

Individuals

Couples

Individual Work

Couple work

Sexual Life Story Interviewing

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